James Baldwin wrote “The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: she has become a threat.”
I had no idea how threatening my voice was until I started to make it heard. None of us trafficking and prostitution survivors did, until we started to write about the brutality we’ve experienced and big players within pimp-dominated ‘sex worker activist’ groups started to do everything they could to silence us and deny we exist. Survivor bloggers are cyber-stalked via Facebook, email, twitter and hateful blog comments. Our email accounts are hacked and private information that could endanger us is tweeted or revealed elsewhere online. Spiteful emails about us are sent to people we work with.
I’d like to give you a glimpse of this intense bullying, using myself as an example. I’m not asking for sympathy; I want to show you what survivor activists go through when we break the silence.
I came out as a survivor online in March 2011. Almost immediately pro-sex industry men and women affiliated with the Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP) USA and other pimp-led activist organizations began emailing me and posting aggressive comments on my Facebook wall. As I got bolder I started leaving comments after articles about prostitution in major newspapers and blogs. At this point I did not have my own blog, and we hadn’t yet formed Survivors Connect Network. I was an obscure private person. Nonetheless, members of the “Network of Sex Work Projects” found me. An anonymous email brought me to this creepy thread about me on admitted madam (a madam is a female pimp) Maggie McNeill’s blog. Another anonymous email led me to this piece on Bound Not Gagged. Here McNeill implies that I’m a puppet controlled by abolitionists. Norma Jean Almodovar, the executive director of COYOTE LA, suggests that I might not exist. Billie Jackson, the founder of SWOP Colorado, criticizes my language. Maxine Doogan, the leader of the Erotic Service Providers’ Union states that I remind her of another troublemaker. She links to a video created by Michael Whiteacre, a lawyer and filmmaker connected with the pornography industry. The video, called The Devil and Shelley Lubben, slanders Lubben, a survivor who speaks out about abuse in the porn industry. It includes an interview with an actor who was in a pornographic movie that depicts Lubben with six men. He discusses her sexual performance. The message is clear: Make waves and this could happen to you.
These invasive tactics have only amplified as time passes. There have been numerous other creepy comment threads and blog posts which pick at me and make false statements written by people I’ve never met who are affiliated with these ‘sex worker activist’ groups. They are a constant background noise and the volume keeps increasing. Most survivors who write or speak about prostitution go through this.
Any examples I give are just splashes from an ocean of harassment. Examine these droplets:
- A few hours after the first ever video broadcast of a talk by Survivors Connect (SC) members, rich and famous Brooke Magnanti sends a tweet to her 49,900 followers, Elena Jeffreys, head of the Scarlett Alliance, an Australian sex worker group affiliated with SWOP USA, and McNeill. The tweet states that SC members are “like Operation Rescue” an extremist group known for harassing women at abortion clinics. Survivors Connect formed just four months ago. Our 48 members are all crime victims and survivors of trafficking/prostitution. McNeill blogs at Sex Workers without Borders (SWWB) with Jill McCracken, a college professor who is part of SWOP USA. No one at Survivors Connect has ever met Magnanti, McNeill or Jeffreys.
- After receiving aggressive tweets from McNeill I ask her to please stop tweeting my name. (I’ve blocked her, but if she types the @ sign before my name, I still get her messages). She ignores my request, and I repeat it many times, explaining that I’m finding the twitter swarm that’s building around her constant tweets scary. Michael Whiteacre, a lawyer and filmmaker involved with the porn industry (Remember him? He made that hit piece on survivor activist Shelley Lubben) joins the fray. I tell them their intensity is threatening, but they don’t stop, no matter how many times I ask. McNeill tweets “I want you to feel threatened so you BACK DOWN” several times. Later Christina Page, a doctoral student connected with SWOP USA, joins in. I’ve never met McNeill, Page or Whiteacre.
- As I’m editing this article I get a tweet from another stranger which contains encoded language that refers to the confidential part of my life. If I were to interpret this fully I would be revealing my location by a matter of just miles. The message here is clear: We know where you are.
This is what it’s like for survivor activists every day. You ignore it as much as you can, and then eventually these people get so extreme, threatening or outrageous that they draw you in. When this happens, I sometimes fall through the floor of my life and into the past’s deep water. I become the scared, beat up girl I used to be, locked in a room in a brothel. Then it’s hard to find my way back to the present. Resurfacing, I’ll stare into blankness for hours while my legs shake. I’ll feel hollow and my husband’s voice will seem to come from far away.
Because I’m telling you this, people from these ‘sex worker activist’ groups will tell you I’m a vicious liar. They’ll say they aren’t pimps, even though they admit owning escort services or have convictions associated with profiting off others’ prostitution. They’ll say I want to send people to jail, even though I hate the US prison system. They’ll say I’m calling all sex workers pimps. Their reactions can seem insane but there’s a strategy behind it. This example will help me explain:
A stranger once tried to rape me in the lobby of my tenement walkup building in broad daylight. I screamed and people came to help. The good Samaritans who’d seen the incident ran off to find the police after asking some other people who’d arrived later to make sure the would-be rapist didn’t run. The man who’d attacked me began telling everyone I was his girlfriend and we were having a fight. He told them it was a private argument we needed to work out between ourselves. He said I was always accusing him of things but he loved me anyway. Remember this man was a complete stranger. But the people who’d remained hadn’t seen him attack me so they let him run away.
The would-be rapist told lies and made accusations to distract people from the wrong he’d done. Nothing he said would have stood up to scrutiny. But within the moment his strategy worked perfectly. He got people who might have helped me forget the truth. As a result he was able to get away and likely go on to hurt someone else.
My attacker’s tactics were similar to the behavior of some members of these ‘sex worker activist’ groups. They harass survivors, then if challenged or if supporters come forward, they claim to be allies rather than pimps. They couldn’t be any more duplicitous – the truth is that suppressing survivor voices is a strategy to protect scores of billions of dollars of organized crime profits.
I was trafficked in prostitution in NYC for ten years. Those of us in the life used the word pimp for any man or woman who profited from our prostitution. I have a right to use this language. All the people who pimped me were part of organized crime, some were women, all were white and most were rich.
Previously I discussed how the International Union of Sex Workers, the Erotic Service Providers Union, COYOTE, and the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA (SWOP) were founded by people who’d been convicted of charges connected with pimping: pandering, conspiracy to promote interstate prostitution, and promoting prostitution. But there are lots more.
Sex Professionals of Canada (SPOC) claims to represent women in the sex industry. But the SPOC recently won a case filed on behalf of two female pimps. Most women in prostitution have suffered intense violence from the men or women who exploit them, but SPOC was advocating for these predators rather than women in prostitution. The plaintiffs were SPOC Deputy Director Amy Lebovitch, SPOC Legal Coordinator Valerie Scott, who plans to open a brothel, and Terri Jean Bedford, who was convicted of keeping a bawdy house (a brothel). SPOC sought to make it legal for men and women to commercially sexually exploit others in prostitution. In bizarre doublespeak, SPOC described those who own brothels or escort services as ‘employees’ of women in sex industry. We wouldn’t accept that a restaurant owner was the ‘employee’ of one of his busboys, would we?
Despite the brave testimony of survivor activists from SexTrade101.com, Educating Voices, Aboriginal Women’s Action Network, and LaCLES.org, Canadian courts chose pimped prostitution for the most vulnerable, who have no other choices. The case has been appealed.
Turn off the Blue Light claimed to represent Irish ‘sex worker’ activists:
Turn Off the Blue Light is a grassroots movement ….We are a sex worker led association campaigning against calls to criminalize the purchase of sex, and for the health, safety, human, civil and labor rights of sex workers in Ireland...
But look who’s actually running the Blue Light campaign. It’s backed by convicted pimp Peter McCormick, who makes millions annually via prostitution websites, his son who was convicted of running six brothels, convicted pimp TJ Carroll, who used voodoo rituals to terrify trafficked African women, and convicted pimp Tony Linnane who was connected with an incident where a woman was “threatened with being burned alive after gasoline was thrown on her.” Mihai Selaru, who humiliated a woman he pimped by starving her and forcing her to lick his shoes, was also connected.
I’m sure there are well-meaning people working within these sex worker activist groups. I hope they find a way to continue their work in organizations free from this shocking conflict of interest. Women in prostitution deserve activist groups that don’t silence survivors or promote sex industry agendas.
So what’s the solution? Pimp-affiliated groups such as the IUSW, SPOC, SWOP USA, COYOTE, the Erotic Services Providers’ Union and PONY must disband and reform as new organizations that are free of “management” members. Any organization claiming to advocate for women in prostitution that receives federal money or collects donations on our behalf must sever ties with all groups where this conflict of interest exists. Otherwise they are supporting the suppression of survivor voices.
Meanwhile we should all advocate for services to help women exit prostitution. They need safe housing, medical care, education, and trauma treatment including EMDR and mindfulness training. They are precious and they need to know we care. They will never know this as long as the academics and NGO’s continue to cooperate with organizations like the IUSW, SPOC and others who, bizarrely and disgustingly, include pimps and/or Johns in their ranks.
I wrote this piece for the Survivors View.
Related articles
- Pimps Will Be Pimps Whether Male or Female or Posing as “Sex Worker Activists” & Other Conflicts of Interest (survivorsconnect.wordpress.com)
- Nevada’s Legal Brothels Are Coercive Too (survivorsconnect.wordpress.com)
- http://nypress.com/does-backpage-com-help-or-hinder-sex-trafficking-protesters-outside-the-village-voice-disagree/
- http://survivorsconnect.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/the-sacred-solidarity-of-survivor-voices/

Great article honey – I just love to see you speaking those important, revealing truths. Thank you for your courage.
Wow… how terrible! It’s really brave of you to step up and speak about this topic. I think many of us in trying to “keep an open mind” have forgotten some of the real issues that threaten women in that profession every day. It sounds like there’s a level of brainwashing on all levels of the spectrum, starting with the workers, clients and even onlookers who will justify brutality as civil rights.
Keep working for the women that are still out there. Keep being their voice. Your strength is amazing to me. You inspire me with the work that you are doing.
Thank you Stella for telling the truth! It is awful the way you have been targeted.
And people think I’m brave or strong. . . Keep writing. Keep telling your story. We are listening. Something here reminds me of how the combat veterans from Vietnam had to fight and fight to get treatment from the VA for exposure to Agent Orange. Don’t just survive: thrive.
Thank you for posting this.You are incredibly brave.
I knew those “sex worker” funfem types were in a state of denial and delusion, but I never guessed how they would actually gang up on an abuse survivor. Sickening. Some of my fellow radfems view them as feminists in training, just in an infantile stage, but I’ve always been skeptical of this. Now I know that funfems aren’t feminists at all. They are owned and operated by the patriarchy and their job is to make pay-to-rape socially acceptable, not to fight gender oppression.
I’m linking to this post on my “twitter policy” page in case there is still anybody out there who is wondering why I unfollow twitter users who advocate “sex work” and other forms of misogyny, also why I don’t make art depicting women’s bodies or follow any artist who does. The art world is so full of male privilege it’s bursting at the seams; even female artists pimp out female bodies, their own and other women’s.
Activism should infiltrate every dark place where oppression is hiding.
Thanks so so much for your deep courage in saying the truth of how vicious the sex trade lobby are. It is exhausting, and stirs up loads of trauma – but the bravery and determination of exited women means we will continue our fight for justice and freedom.
You’ve inspired so many us Rebecca. Thank you for your brilliance and truth
These people are evil. There’s no other word.
Thank you for telling the truth about what they do, and I am so sorry that you and others have been on the receiving end.
I commend you for your courage in speaking knowing the danger this puts you in. In my ignorance I did not realize how bad things are for sex workers and survivors. I guess I like a lot of Americans see the romantize version of the prostitute as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I am going to become more informed and in the future would love to help you in your cause. Thank you for opening my eyes to this atrocitie happening in front of me.
Thank you and so much love to you darling, that means the world xo
You write powerfully. Go, go voice!
You are a brave woman and you have a right to be HEARD. Thank you for your post.
You may only have 48 members, but your 48 members have those with 49, 000 shaking in their boots because you are sharing the truth. And the truth is powerful. More powerful than their lies. Please stay safe and keep sharing the truth. The world needs to hear it!!
ps – I live in Ontario, Canada and am disgusted with the law that was recently past. Do you know of any organization that is trying to thwart the bill that I can throw my support behind?
Yes — http://www.sextrade101.com, an extraordinary survivor run group in Ontario is doing a lot of great work on that — as is Vancouver Rape Relief and http://www.LaCLES.org in Montreal Thank you for your beautiful support XO
Stella,
Your blog is voice that needs to exist and I respect what you’re doing. No one’s voice should be censored for speaking on this issue. If these leaders have a different view it is their right to voice it and advocate for it, but threatening and seeking to silence another’s is crossing a line.
I’m going to research the people you post of here who harassed you and Ms. Lubben. Please retweet harassment you receive at the hands of any one that continues in the above vain.
You are not alone Stella.
Anonymous
Keep on! It´s a tough way, but I´m sure it´s worth walking it. And you are being listened to.
/Mattias Sigurdsson
Sex trade lobbly gets what it wants cos it runs from the very top…the very hand which is supposed to help us ( every citizen) out, each and every one …government,police,NGO’S you name it every one is keeping an account of their profit from the industry…the shelter homes are the worst…
the pimps and the top order know where and now much of cash and pressure works…also the short term memory and indifferent attitude of people adds to it
Keep publishing. I’m putting this on Tumblr and StumbleUpon
Keep up the work. Fighting back against things like this isn’t always easy – but it’s always right. I just published a book against Human Trafficking – lending my shoulder to the wheel. It’s called SEE ME NOT – now available on Amazon, and I am working with an organization called RealStars http://www.realstars.eu here in Europe to fight against sex slavery. So – you’ve got support.
May I link to your post on my blog site? I am going to be doing a post this week interpreting the story of the Woman with the Issue of Blood (Mark 5:21-43), and want to talk about the ways in which girls and women are “bled” today (sexual abuse, the sex industry) and the ways in which women are fighting back to get justice and get their needs met.
I’d be honored if you link to this post. Sounds like a wonderful interpretation of Mark 5:21-43. Thank you for your wonderful support
I just posted: http://subrosa09.wordpress.com/2012/07/01/womens-issues-blood-issues/. Sorry for the delay – the internet was down due to the big storm!
As a married man who supports your courageous efforts, I feel compelled to point out that the forces which some of your correspondents cite hopefully — academia, Feminism, the government (as in veterans-of-Vietnam syndrome) — are in fact the agents of the cultural climate which has stranded you and so many other women in this predicament. Your friends are not your friends if they try to convince you only they can possibly be your friends.
Thank you so much for your empathetic support. I understand what you’re saying, but I want to mention that I’ve heard from many veterans suffering with PTSD due to their prolonged tours in the Gulf, Iraq, & Afghanistan. We have a lot in common, and these brave men have been incredibly supportive. They’ve also been stranded in the cultural climate you mention. 5 years after f the National Multiple Sclerosis Society was formed (with only 50 members) they were successful in getting the government to set up the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes. I believe that in the near future through joint efforts veterans suffering from PTSD and survivors of trafficking/prostitution, wars and torture will be able to persuade governments in 1st world countries to set up similar institutes to study and offer help with the effects of prolonged trauma, torture, and trafficking/prostitution. Trauma is a huge political issue, and this will have a major impact. We will owe a huge debt to all the brave people who’ve survived or died in terrible, dehumanizing wars, detention camps, segregation and terrorism, torture & genocides before us.
Stella,
You are strong and whether you believe in God or not, their is an anointing that rests on you to set captives free. You are fighting a battle and I am very impressed with your research and links. There is no denying that you are a for runner for this much needed change.
Be a woman. Be a warrior. But be them together, unashamed of your beauty and unapologetic of your strength.
This one’s for you Stella:
Another Day of Pirating
Midday darkens even in sun
I feel your arm linked in mine
Old friends
Who have never met
We know that shadows are not always demons
And some days the sun just isn’t bright enough
Shadows once crumpled us like old news papers
Tossed into street corners
Like careless buccaneers with too much treasure
We are no mere trinket
We are intricate steps and mountainous regions
Desert landscapes, crags and sea and rivers rolling
All intertwined and carefully penned
Upon the pages of a treasure map
Your beautiful poem brought tears. These kind of tears:
“Last night my tears saw you in Tarusa, which for both of us was the same as the real thing.” — Bella Akhmadulina
Thank you for your beautiful support xoxo
Stella,
It has been a while since I checked in with you. Did you hear about the little girl who got the bubonic plague this summer and lived!? Well, that was my daughter. If you need an inspirational story stop on by! http://darcydowning.wordpress.com/2013/02/01/httpwp-mepne39-5q/
Dear Stella…I had no idea about any of this until I started reading your blog. I remember when Oprah did a show with Jenna Jameson and how uneasy it made me feel. Now I know why. I can’t believe it never occurred to me that the only voices speaking up publicly about any face of the sex trade have been those making huge profits from it. The courage everyone in The Survivors Network and other groups like yours display is staggering to me. I have the link to your blog up on mine and I support you 100%. You’re right. Every last one of these women and girls is precious and irreplaceable and they need our love and support. Stay safe!
I’ve never been a sex worker, so I know I don’t understand it completely, but I support your choice to walk away and I am proud of you. You have the stuff we all dream of, bravery, determination, and strength.
Stella, it’s good that you’ve got screencaps, I would strongly recommend keeping a file of this stuff. Also contact Twitter and show them this, explain that your blocking the people harassing you didn’t help, and keep a record of those communications as well.
As absolutely always, a wonderful expression of such a pervasive truth with the dire need of getting out and being echoed in the halls of every arena and sector of society. We will be your amplifiers, megaphones, and speaker systems. We will carry the message as true as possible to you and the beautiful rest you represent.
Thank you so much for sharing this and raising awareness about the continuing abuse that survivors endure after everything already. Your strength is so inspiring. We will never be silenced. Thank you for giving voice.
Thank you so much for raising your voice against this bullying and abuse. I am behind you 100%. Thank you!
I can’t imagine the daily fear you must live with, knowing they KNOW you, still. I remain awed by your bravery and strength.
Reblogged this on Freedom and the Pursuit of Happiness.
While I truly support educating the public of these circumstances, there is a small part of me that is happy (?) when others are surprised that “this stuff” happens. I wish I had been allowed to live a bit longer before I learned to defend, protect, fear.
You are a courageous lady
Great article.
I can see some of the arguments being made, but they really do lose all validity as soon as they become ad hominem attacks. This idea of putting the victim on trial is just completely heinous and shows the supposed advocacy groups are anything but.
Reblogged this on Nest Full Of Birds and commented:
Oh, how I appreciate the work of this woman! I applaud her as loudly as I can! And I hope all of you, especially those of you like me who are deeply affected by sexual trauma will follow her blog and pray and support her mission and ministry! It’s healing and she’s a brave woman who’s making life’s healing choices too!
Keep speaking out! Keep praying, praising and proclaiming your FREEDOM ! These people are sick. They are run by demons…. I too am a survivor!!!! Blessings and LOVE!!!! You ARE ROCKING and thank-you for your courage!
You are an Angel with the power to help so many others. Prayers and thoughts are with you! Thank you for sharing your experience!
Love, Annie
Your courage is utterly inspiring. I am just catching up again and you bring me to my knees. I wish I could offer you words of healing and wisdom, there are none. I wish there was empathy enough in the world that your pain could be spared, I don’t think there is and thus those that did evil continue to prosper and continue to do evil. I am sorry.
True. Every single word. I’m not affiliated with Survivors Connect, though I have contacted you. My own experiences in activism echo yours, and have involved some of the same people.
When I began to lend support to other survivors, I found an overwhelming amount of consistently repeating backgrounds and experiences, which pro-industry advocates claim do not exist and are not universal. What this translates to is, “If I make money from the suffering of others and make a name for myself, people will believe me, not you.”
It’s like a sexual “Matrix,” and most of society is oblivious to the reality. The people you mentioned weave complex tapestries that have replaced the truth. Keep speaking. Every truth pulls a thread from the masterpiece of lies.
It all looks extremely frightening. You are a brave woman. God be with you.
Hi Stella. I have awarded you the Kreativ Blogger Award. You deserve it. Check out my blog for details, and please bear with the long post.
Stella, you are a brave and beautiful woman. Your story is helping far more people than you realize. May God’s mighty angels guard over you and protect you as you expose truth! Blessings!
It’s fantastic that there are people like you who will stand up against the disgusting practices and hypocrisy that go in the most powerful sections of our society. It is terrifying that these people have an influence on our lives. Keep revealing them and soon they will be shown to everyone to be exactly what they are. You should be very proud of yourself for your strength and courage x
I will always take more stock in those who are living, or have lived, something others are advocating for.
Absolutely…the person with a mere argument is ALWAYS at the mercy of the person with the actual experience.
I appreciate this; the amount of courage for you to speak out, tremendous. That’s an inspiration. This issue is something that hasn’t crossed my mind – that the ones in management could very well be the ones that cause the most harm.
Thank you for sharing.
Stella, I just found your blog. WOW, it just fueled me to speak out MORE BOLDLY! I am proud to join hands with you in this fight for truth. Thank you for speaking out and making a huge difference in this world. You are amazing!
A powerful and compelling story of what we are completely oblivious to. Great grace and His marvelous protection be upon you, in Jesus’ name as you bring to light that which is desperately dark and evil. That others may see and be delivered. We appreciate you courage and boldness. Proverbs 28:1
Don’t worry Stella Miss – some of us out here believe you & man though I am? I believe the bullying the likes of Mcneill & her friends engage in is Wrong & I’ve TOLD her so – As I said to her? Sometimes it needs others (like me) to “watch the watchers” (who watch You a lot or so it seems); I may not be able to DO much to her or say the sort of rubbish she does but the Fact SHE is under scrutiny to? Might just give her pause before her Next barrage in future & when I say I’m watching her? Believe me I MEAN it – Why? Because I believe YOU that’s why & what’s she’s done/doing to you? Is just plain wrong. Anyway that’s my view is all; Take Care & Keep Well Stella……..
I think these allegations are incredibly news worthy and I think it is important that broader community concerned with free speech in its true sense and press understands what happens when the person speaks out against injustice. Everybody has a right to tell their story without being strategically silenced. Have you talked to any independent press such as ‘Democracy Now’ or the UK’s Guardian (especially the women’s page) or Independent? …I think they would be interested in a story like this. In addition, Manwin who seems to be turning into a mono-corporation in the porn industry goes to great lengths to portray itself as ‘socially responsible’ highlighting ‘working in partnership’ with Free Speech Coalition and some other NGO type set ups..I wonder if several enquiries by press or individuals about the ethics of different organisations they are allying with would raise some questions within these organisations and PR departments? Good luck, you are very very brave people …..
Reblogged this on Screaming Banshee and commented:
I support Stella Marr’s work completely.