A terrifying "new normal"
Friend, colleague and fellow survivor Rebecca Mott has a bold and mesmerizing new post up. She writes of the deadness so necessary to survival when one is prostituted — how violence and brutality feels so ordinary that, as she puts it, even hell is boring. Here’s an excerpt:
The years that others framed as adult prostitution – in that framing it all become my own good or bad choices, it is framed that an adult prostitute must want it if she does not walk out, and of course it always framed that all prostitutes are just dirty whores who are addicted to nasty sex.
In that frame – all violence is made into glamour, all degradation is chosen, and all fear is said to be fake.
In that frame, truth is abandoned in case it drives the prostitutes into self-harm or suicide.
I want to attempt to reach into the middle of that time – as it was, not how others wanted it be, not with my own safe hindsight – but inside that middle.
My middle like the millions of the tortured was mainly full of deep boredom, endless repetitive ways of being sexually tortured, and long times of forcing my mind to block my reality.
My middle is full of short moments of finding I has some humanity left – moments connecting to as song in the background, moments walking back at night and enjoying the silence of a city, moments when my mind was saying “enough already” but still my body was being tortured.
They were the moments that were the force that made the person who now writes this blog. I could do nothing to save my young adult – but now in this writing all I can do is repay her intense courage and strength of will by writing as close to her truths as I can.
I do not write just for my self and my past – I write for the millions of adult prostituted women who are abandoned because it is decided they must have chosen their lifestyle. I write for those abandoned prostituted women closed behind wall in indoors prostitution.
I write to make the invisible visible – and to say just stop turning your heads and consciences away from these women. As you decide they must be alright – they are being routinely raped, they are made into living hard-core porn, they are mentally abused till their sense of self is destroyed, and they murdered on a scale that you choose not to imagined.
Related articles
- A Small Window: Survivor Rebecca Mott (survivorsconnect.wordpress.com)
- Trapped Indoors: Survivor Interview (stellamarrundercovercallgirl.wordpress.com)
- Looking for Unicorns: The Search for the “Happy Hooker” & the “Good Punter/John” (secretlifeofamanhattancallgirl.wordpress.com)
- Looking for Unicorns: The Happy Hooker and the Good Punter/John (stellamarrundercovercallgirl.wordpress.com)
- Reclaiming a Space For a Voice (secretlifeofamanhattancallgirl.wordpress.com)
- Language Was Stolen (secretlifeofamanhattancallgirl.wordpress.com)
- Important Survivor Interview (survivorsconnect.wordpress.com)
- Who’s a Prostitution Expert? (stellamarrundercovercallgirl.wordpress.com)
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