My friend and colleague Dublin Call Girl has a blazingly honest new post up on her blog. It’s about how she felt when Johns/punters reviewed her online. This is a revolting practice where online “escort” sites encourage the men to post reviews of each girl after they’ve used her. It’s not new. Even before the internet there used to be creepy “adult entertainment” news sheets (kind of like today’s backpage) where men wrote these sorts of reviews. But the internet has increased the impact of this dehumanizing practice on prostitutedwomen’s lives. Here’s an excerpt:
This is another review, from someone else, that worries me. This is hardly unique, it took me two seconds to find, there are hundreds of this type (and worse) of review. This is the really sinister side of reviews. Men will visit a girl who clearly, and the men admit this quite openly, doesn’t want to be there, is unhappy, is reluctant. And they review her anyway. They review her in such a way that completely and cleverly avoids any consideration for her, or why she is ‘lifeless’ or why she is ‘mechanical’ or whatever else. Instead of wondering why and how the girl is in this position of unwillingly having sex for money, they are pissed off, indignant about their wasted money. This is what paying does; it takes the responsibility out of the punter’s hands. It takes the human out of both sides.
|
|
|---|---|
|
|
|
|
Read more
Related articles
- A Thankyou Letter to Punters. (secretlifeofamanhattancallgirl.wordpress.com)
- Looking for Unicorns: The Happy Hooker and the Good Punter/John (stellamarrundercovercallgirl.wordpress.com)
I wish I didn’t know this.
But thank you so much for posting!
It is essential to get these stories of the sex industry out.
Please, keep writing
Thank you. The author, DublinCallGIrl, is amazing. XO
Stella, I am so angry at these bastards and even more angry that people defend them. Thank you again for a shot of cold hard truth.
I can’t take the credit for this post, it’s a reblog from my friend and Colleague Dublin call girl. She’s amazing, her blog is at http://www.dublincallgirl.wordpress.com
That is fucking horrible.
I admit that I am lucky enough to be naive enough to have never even considered that johns might review prostitutes in these ways. Thank you for exposing this information to those of us who’ve never thought of it before.
Thank you for reading. I wrote the introduction, but the meat and potatoes of the post was written by my friend, the brilliant Dublin Call Girl, who blogs at http://www.secretdiaryofadublincallgirl.wordpress.com.
Much needed post. What do they expect? Keep women down, keep them hopeless and broke, use them….then expect them to act happy about it! I don’t think so. Men say they want excitement and interaction, kisses, things they don;’t give in their “other” life, all that means is that they are unable to achieve that level of connection in their real lives, they are flawed. They don’t pay for your soul, affection or feelings and they shouldn’t expect it.
hiiiiiiiii
It is nothing new. A bit of loving and company besides his regular regimented life was allowed for man and society didn’t bother much as long as it didn’t get out of hand. Hypocrisy was made into a system was always the underbelly of man’s world where it is OK ‘we are in this together but in public I was not there and I didn’t see you’. In Victorian Age such hypocrisy was insisted upon and Sundays most men were pillars of the Church and caterpillars in other days and nights, was the unspoken rule. But now the rules are less formal and many are ‘gentlemen’ when they have money to spend and not by cultivation or by birth.
Money runs the show where a woman who has no support shall be used again and again.
How sickening, thanks for sharing this. I must lead a sheltered life because I had no idea they did this reviewing thing.
Gilly,
I think it is just a deeper, more sinister version of what guys used to–and maybe still do: write about women on bathroom walls. It is like there is not sense that when they talk about a woman like this, in public to people who don’t care but still want a view in, that they are making their own selves less precious, sacred and enjoyable.
I don’t understand this. We could barber shop psychoanalyze this to death. Tons of valid theories, and they might fit us as well as they fit any of the johns. To me it is odd, maybe because I have not rested in a place where men gather to be immune from their shame.
I just know that if it says on the wall, “For a good time call…” I can be pretty sure no one at that number wants me or anyone else calling, and if nothing else would keep me from picking up the phone, knowing they don’t want to hear from me is enough.
Its very sad. But I think not uncommon.
There are days when it is hard to believe this is real, most days, since it is how many of us get along, feel like we can actually go out in the world and see the people who will not do this to us or do it to someone we love.
But even when, in recent days, I’ve seen it, gotten my precious circle of love nicked by it and watched some of the fallout, it takes so long to really believe. And how many people does it take to think it’s okay for it to continue to exist? And how much of it do I really participate in?
Makes it harder to find love–care in little pockets of what’s left over, corners where a couple of friends who have survived this can have with the friends they have left, still trust, still have not been too damaged by this bit of society in which we live.
Thank you so much Clarence — I’m so moved by what you wrote.
It’s just that I’ve recently lived through a bit of “how could you do that to human beings” stuff that hurt me personally, left its carnage on a whole lot of other people and left me feeling like, I know people do this to other people, but… it’s just hard to believe and impossible to get out of the way of without getting “nicked.”
Hi, A lot of grit in experience and you need grit to word it too.
meera
Thanks for sharing this. I never realized this, and it’s unbelievable how these self-delusional assholes can feel so entitled just because they paid for it.
You are right, both you and Dublin Call Girl are amazing writers and I will follow both your blogs to learn more about the prostitution industry.
I have to say, as horrible as it is, I’m glad she made some money from the jerk and that she wasn’t cheap. By writing this, she revealed more about what goes on in the heads of the women who are left to hawking their bodies to make a living and the heads of the creeps who frequent them. The only good thing about a John, is their ability to pay the women who need the money. I don’t feel sorry for these women. I admire their ability to survive, to get over and for this woman, to understand that she should still expect some respect for the work she does.
Thanks for sharing this. Did the prick actually think we’d feel sorry for him? Or is he so stupid that money equals emotion? Too bad, she didn’t post his picture and a review of him.
I just want to say how awful men can be. Living in Asia, I see far more than I want.
wow. that is surreal and disturbing. wow.
This very much makes me want to vomit. “She didn’t want to be there.” Well no shit. Stella, you, as well as Dublin girl, and others like you inspire me.
boo hoo – poor dumb john. continue…
Thank you for opening my eyes. I will see prostitutes all the time and never really thought about what they are going through. My thoughts have always been. Why is she out there or she needs to go put some clothes on. Never considered her story. Now I will.